Sometime early yesterday, our night operative staggered into The Plain Dealer's Radio-TV Department and left a wad of soggy notes stuck in our typewriter.

A rough translation - all that was possible considering the ragged nature of both the note paper and the handwriting - produced the following:

"TUESDAY, 11 p.m. - Went out to cover the 'Route 66' crew allegedly about to burn down barn off South Miles Road in Warrensville Heights. Spotted parked fire truck, correctly assumed had arrived at right site. Parked, slogged half-mile through mud to scene, down in lonesome hollow, flood-lit, well attended by public, mostly junior high vintage.

"Located Sam Manners, Cleveland boy in charge of CBS show. Assured me everything OK, all systems GO! Warrensville Heights fire department - half paid (6), half volunteer (6) - on hand with big hose connected to cement mixer nearby. Turned out cement mixer full of water to put out expected fire.

"FIRE CHIEF Elmer Taylor taking genial view of barn burning. 'Long time since we had a real one out here. We get a little money from the TV people, but we'd have to be here anyway to protect property, see that fire is kept under control.'

"Found supervisor of barn building, Red McCormack, show's art director. Said he used local carpenters, put up barn in less than three days, starting Friday. Cost $2,000. Five-day barn - short, happy life. Tarpaper roof. Flimsy sides so stuntmen could drive wagon through at height of blaze. Used lots of turpentine in paint. Had gasoline dribbled around in straw. Using rope wicks and propane gas tanks to help fire along.

"Whoosh of flame. Burned inside of barn couple of times for interior scenes. One time, camera jammed up when hay mow blazing nicely. 'Stop the fire,' cameraman shouted. Firemen put it out again. This went on and on and on and on.

"Funny thing about this temporary barn. Real barns burn down in two minutes when some poor milkmaid snubs cigarette butt in corner. This one is indestructible.

"WEDNESDAY, 2 a.m. - Still shooting scenes outside barn. George Maharis, one of the stars, having big argument with Tom Gries, director: 'It's not honest! Won't do it! OK, just this once! No more cheap scenes for me!' This all about fight Maharis thinks not bloody enough. Had fight anyway. Fighters slipping around in mud. Everyone, including me, getting pretty gummy.

"3 a.m. - Nothing new to report. Same old stuff. Barn still unburned, except for casual fires set by technical types so would look afire for shots taken from outside.

"THEODORE BIKEL had to run through door couple of times to rescue people burning up inside. Director can't figure out whether door should bounce open or stay shut. Tried couple different ways.

"4 a.m. - Numbness setting in. Lois Smith, pale, wan girl star, looking paler, waner. Had to flop in mud couple times. That's show biz. Shivered. Someone threw coat over her. Nobody threw coat over me despite shivers bigger than hers. John Carroll seismograph probably picking up strange earthquake-like quivers from Warrensville Heights area because of mass shivering.

"Public still hanging on. Teen-agers' teeth chattering. Numbness making inroads. Wish to hell they'd touch off the barn. Maybe warm up. Firemen agree, but damn thing hard to burn. Most remarkable temporary barn for non-burning ever saw.

"5 a.m. - Somebody served hot soup to TV crew. Couldn't wheedle or wangle a cup. Shoddy treatment of TV types, too, come to think of it.

"5:15 a.m. - 'Take 45 minutes to eat,' some TV wheel shouts. Everybody drop everything. Barn ready for burning. Point out sunrise about to interfere. Did no good. TV types vanish for chow. Again, none forthcoming for non-TV types. Said the hell with it. Slogged back through rutted cow pasture. Drove to office. Dropped off notes.

"SWORE OFF TV for ever and ever. Never before in history have so many spent so much time producing things of so little import. 'Route 66' leaves Thursday. Hooray.

"PS - Found out later barn burned successfully at about 6 a.m. Fire Chief Taylor and men still on duty. Put it out. 'Clean up area?'

"'THAT'S someone else's problem,' chief says."